Parent Preferences

What do you do when your child so obviously prefers your spouse over you? Corey has always been a daddy's boy....which I blame on the fact that I was so sick after he was born. It's gotten to epic proportions lately. Last Saturday night was the worst. I was awakened by a crying child in my bed...of course, Corey crawling into bed with me like he does almost every night. He was crying so I reached over to him and asked him what was wrong. He jerked his body away from me and screamed "nothing!", so I told him if nothing was wrong then he needed to go back to his own bed and go back to sleep.

Of course, that got him crying even harder and he stormed off to his bed. I felt bad, so I followed him into his bedroom and sat down on his bed beside him. The first words out of his mouth were "I want daddy". I told him Daddy was sleeping and he was going to have to settle for mommy. He then proceeded to KICK me. I almost lost my mind! I spanked him and told him that if he was going to treat me like that, then he could just lay there and cry by himself and stormed off back to bed.

Of course, after I got into bed and my anger and hurt subsided, I started to bawl like a baby. Number one, I felt absolutely horrible for spanking him. Number two, why is it that I'm second best no matter what I do? I cried for a know a good half hour. This being a mother thing is hard enough. It hurt to know that I'm never going to be his choice or his favorite. I completely understand that a boy will bond with his father and I'm not asking for a lot. I just want a little respect and to be treated kind. I don't think that's too much to ask.

I finally ended up turning on the tv to calm down. That woke up Jerry off the couch and he came in and asked what was wrong. I had to relate the entire story, which got me crying again. All he could say was "he doesn't mean anything by it". Nice to say, but not true. He was mad that I yelled at him and he was trying to get back at me. I'm far tougher on Corey than Jerry is and Corey knows that he can get to me by being hateful. He'll never know how much it breaks my heart.

I finally fell back asleep after watching the end of Footloose. Nothing like a good 80's movie to make you feel better. Sunday was rough. Jerry went for a bike ride, so it was just me and Corey. I had a long talk with him about how much he hurt my feelings the night before and he told me he was sorry. It still makes me cry just writing about it now. I only want my child to be happy and healthy. I guess it's too much to ask right now for his undying love. Hopefully, that will come later.

Of course, then this whole stomach bug thing happened and I felt absolutely horrible and wicked. My child is my life and I would do anything for him. I think he knows that deep down. I guess I'm just expecting him to be more mature than his 4 years.

I'm there for him when he needs me and someday he realize that I'm always going to love him, no matter what.